The New Parenting Club

The Socialization of Children
Born an Original, Died a Copy

“What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.” – Sigmund Freund

According to the dictionary…To socialize is to arouse to an interest in humanity. This is the positive aspect of the word. On the other hand there is also a negative definition for socialization: To convert or adapt for social uses or needs. To be put under group control, to be conditioned, regulated for societal or governmental service. I fear that this is what we have become acculturated to in our post modern techno culture today. This is not what I want for my children. The definition I prefer is: To take part in social activities. Activities which enlighten, educate in a natural organic way. That gives pleasure and a sense of self worth.

Play with others is a primary way to socialize and grow. Children know how to do this very well. Unfortunately this is not given much time in school.
Is socialization best served for children by being stuck with 30 same age people for 6 hours a day 5 days a week? Would it be true to say that homeschooled children have more opportunities to socialize with people outside of their own peer group, and therefore, with more experience, make friends more easily? It is certainly true for my son who is ten and can quickly interact easily with adults and kids of any age.

While it is true that those children who are compelled to be in the same place with the same children and experience having to deal with those who may not be friendly and often are bullies, do develop strategies to survive. However, these may not be the best strategies for ‘real life’ as it is lived among adults. Might a homeschooled child who was raised with and around his parents and experienced how they ‘pick and choose’ who they associate with and why, learn how to discern among people.

Making distinctions is a primary skill for all of us. How artificial to be controlled and silenced for most of a schooled child’s day. Denied the simple freedoms that we adults take for granted. Children learn by asking questions, not by answering them.

Blog Post: Sunday June 14, 2009 by Jeffrey L. Fine, Ph.D. co-author with Dalit Fine, MS of: “The Art of Conscious Parenting” Release-November, 2009