The New Parenting Club

Should Parents Apologize to their Children?
Here’s an item from Chabad by Sara Radcliffe that I think is very important and want to pass along.

Every single one of us makes mistakes sometimes. Every single one of us is imperfect. Every single one of us needs to improve in some way.
You’d think this was obvious, but it is not. There are many parents who present themselves to their kids as if perfect. Such parents never apologize for anything because, in their opinion, they are never wrong. At the same time, they may be very hard on their children – quick to identify mistakes and deficiencies. Often being critical and insistent on hearing apologies for their wrongdoings. When children are young, they have no choice but to absorb the criticism and complaints. But when they become adolescents, they may take to talking back and challenging the parent.
“You’re always screaming at me!” a teen might complain. “That’s because you never listen!” retorts the parent. The parent actually teaches the child, through his or her model, that defensive remarks are appropriate ways to respond to criticism. Unfortunately, such a lesson will handicap the child later on in his or her adult relationships. Defensiveness doesn’t work! It pushes people apart instead of bringing them closer together. Moreover, it indicates a haughty attitude, the kind of attitude that is not liked by G d. The Bible is replete with condemnations of haughtiness and similarly replete with praise for those who are humble. This Biblical statement sums it up powerfully: “Someone haughty in spirit, it is as though he were an idolater”. He worships himself! Humility allows people to apologize. Arrogance holds them back. What works is acknowledgement. Hearing, accepting and validating a complaint really work in marriage, parenting and professional situations. But children need to experience this process first hand. They need to learn it from their parents. Parents are models. Remember: Children learn what they see, not what they are told

So what should a parent say when accused of screaming too much? The parent might respond: “You’re right, I do scream a lot. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be doing that. I need to handle my frustration better.” This attention, acknowledgement and validation are a very nice apology. It will help the child learn to formulate similar responses to attacks. In addition, it will help the child acknowledge his or her own role in the current dispute. An older child is much more likely to say something like, “I know you’re frustrated – I didn’t do what I said I would. It’s not your fault. I’m really sorry. I’ll get to it today.” A younger one might say, “That’s okay, Mommy. I’m sorry, too.” When the parent leads the way by apologizing, children find it easier and more natural to follow suit.
A good apology is much more than “I’m sorry.” Unless the person states what he or she is sorry about, the words can feel empty and cold. This is where the acknowledgment part comes in: acknowledgment is a summary of the wrongdoing as it affects the other person. When arriving late, for example, a person would say something like, “I’m sorry I’m late. I’ve kept you waiting.” This short, simple-but-complete message names the mistake and its ramifications. Here are a few more examples:
• “I’m sorry I called you ‘immature.’ I know that hurt your feelings.”
• “I’m sorry I forgot to buy you the ________I promised to pick up. I know you must be very disappointed.”
• “I’m sorry I bumped into you. Are you alright?”

Simple and sincere apologies are powerful. They heal relationship wounds. Showing kids how it is done gives them a skill that will truly enhance their lives. Remember: Love is for giving.

Albert Schweitzer has been a strong model for me and I have long studied his writings. He has, unfortunately been forgotten in our time, like so many who have given wisdom to mankind. He first came to my attention when I was the owner/director of our Fasting and Vegetarian Spa & Hotel in Palm beach Florida. I was very impressed by the success of the Gerson Diet. Dr. Max Gerson had been curing diabetes, arthritis and cancer in Europe and had come to the United States to bring the results of 50 Cases of Cancer Cured before congress. The definition of a cure is a patient who is in remission for over five years. Schweitzer was one of Max Gerson’s patients. Schweitzer was a severe diabetic. When, at the age of 75, he sought the help of the raw food pioneer, Max Gerson, he was very ill and taking huge doses of insulin. Gerson took him off his high protein diet, commenting that since it is the pancreas that has to supply most of the enzymes needed to digest protein and since it is the pancreas which is ailing already in diabetes, why flog a dead horse? Poorly digested proteins only create more than their fair share of toxic wastes. Gerson put Schweitzer on a regimen of fresh raw vegetables and lots of vegetable and fruit juices, including apple juice with all its fruit sugar. Ten days later, Gerson judged it safe to reduce his patient’s insulin by half. A month later, Schweitzer needed no insulin at all. His diabetes never returned and he remained healthy, and returned to Africa to a very active life until his death in 1965 at the age of 92.

Using the same and similar methods I have supervised the cures of hundreds of insulin dependent diabetic cases and can testify to the effectiveness of a mostly raw food diet. I did not however, choose to treat cancer patients in-house due to the political nature of the orthodox medics at the time (1977-1985) and the “witch-hunt” tactics of the various Medical Associations attempting to close down any alternative treatment centers for cancer. This however did not extend to the treatment of chronic conditions like diabetes. We treated and cured diabetes, arthritis, coronary conditions and many other conditions given up as hopeless by the doctors. There is an old saying to which I subscribe: – “There is no such thing as a ‘hopeless case’ only hopeless doctors.”
“A Cancer Therapy –Results of Fifty Cases” by Max Gerson
“Let Thy Food Be Thy Medicine”, Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
JAMES CAMERON who lived with Schweitzer in order that he might write a series of articles in the “News Chronicle” states: “The Doctor eats only fruits and vegetables – and considerably great quantities of mango, avocado, and soya bean, and above all, an especially huge amount of boiled bananas. The Doctor has no illusions about modern civilization and that is why he advocates a new one built upon Reverence for Life. He believes that modern civilization with its atomic bombs is based wrongfully on destruction of life.”
Dr. ALBERT SCHWEITZER has achieved world fame in so many fields of activity; he cannot be catalogued in one. A great organist and interpreter, of Bach, all music lovers know him. A theologian who challenged the orthodoxy of his day, a philosopher who has delved into the depths of life, he forsook the world in which he had made a secure living to study medicine that he might devote himself to the service of humanity as a medical missionary. Because of the rules of the times in which he lived, he was not supposed to teach but only heal and he did heal – souls as well as bodies. Alone he raised the money for most of the fine work he did in French Equatorial Africa in his hospital in Lambarene. He went to Africa to cure Leprosy and Sleeping Sickness. He won the Nobel Prize for Peace in 1952 of $1,560, 000 which was donated by him solely towards that work. When he first established himself in Africa, there was no doctor within five hundred miles.
I recommend for anyone interested in Schweitzer the book “Reverence for Life – Albert Schweitzer for the 21st Century” Essays edited by Marvin Meyer.
As an ironic point of interest in ending this Blog; my family and I live on Albert Schweitzer Road in our home in Israel.

For your enjoyment and enlightenment, I give you a video of the life of Dr. Albert Schweitzer:

When I saw this I just had to share it. The joy of birth, so well pictured. I cannot wait to see the entire film. I share this with love to you and all your future generations after you.

This is such a testatment to a woman’s body! This is a completely natural experience! NOT a medical emergency. (According to the World Health Organization, 90 to 95 percent of the entire world’s births are normal and require no interventions.)

The U.S. stands ALONE in the fact that the majority of babies are being born in hospitals. The rest of the world, including Europe has used midwives for centuries w/ lower risk of infant/mother death or complications. Facts speak for themselves.

Watch this short trailer for a beautiful film about what Normal, Joyous Birth looks like. Because Normal Birth is always joyous.

If it does not open from here – copy & paste into your browser.

DO NOT LET YOUR CHILD GET FLU VACCINE

This year it is more important that you protect your children and loved ones from the flu vaccines than influenza itself. This article on Lew Rockwell discusses how:
1. The swine flu is simply another flu. It is not unusually deadly.
2. This is the first time both seasonal and pandemic flu vaccines will be administered. Both seasonal flu and swine flu vaccines will require two inoculations. This is because single inoculations have failed to produce sufficient antibodies. This is an admission that prior flu vaccines were virtually useless. Can you trust them this time?
3. Adjuvants are added to vaccines to boost production of antibodies but may trigger autoimmune reactions. Some adjuvants are mercury (thimerosal), aluminum and squalene. Why would you sign a consent form for your children to be injected with mercury, which is even more brain-toxic than lead?
4. This is the first year mock vaccines have been used to gain FDA approval. The vaccines that have been tested are not the same vaccines your children will be given.
5. Over-vaccination is a common practice now in America. American children are subjected to 29 vaccines by the age of two. Meanwhile, veterinarians have backed off of repeat vaccination in dogs because of observed side effects.
6. Modern medicine has no explanation for autism, despite its continued rise in prevalence. Yet autism is not reported among Amish children who go unvaccinated.
7. Researchers are warning that over-use of the flu vaccine and anti-flu drugs like Tamiflu and Relenza can apply genetic pressure on flu viruses and then they are more likely to mutate into a more deadly strain.
8. Most seasonal influenza A (H1N1) virus strains tested from the United States and other countries are now resistant to Tamiflu (oseltamivir). Tamiflu has become a nearly worthless drug against seasonal flu.
9. Public health officials are irresponsible in their omission of any ways to strengthen immunity against the flu. No options outside of problematic vaccines and anti-flu drugs are offered, despite the fact there is strong evidence that vitamins C and D activate the immune system and the trace mineral selenium prevents the worst form of the disease.