The New Parenting Club

 “I’m an American, I live in a free country and I can choose.”  But only if you have all the facts can you be aware of the choices.  Awareness, however about the facts, options and choices in birth and parenting for most Americans is slim to none.  Most of us will draw a blank when it comes to birth; and what we know about parenting is only drawn from our experiences growing up in our family with our parents.  Add to this the untouchable nature of the subject of birth; ‘it’s for doctors’ or ‘women learn about it when they get pregnant.’  The truth is though, that most women never do learn about it.  For most, it is just something ‘that happens’ and you do what your doctor tells you.

            To raise awareness about the facts, choices and options available, the benefits or dangers for your new born, your toddler or teen requires breaking out of prison.  Yes, I said breaking out of prison, the prison of our conditioned mind,  our cultural paradigm, our way of seeing things and thinking about or rather not thinking about these subjects that have never been questioned, nor taught, and are steeped in ignorance, superstition, lies and misinformation.

            Is there a handbook or manual handed to us when we arrive in life, or at any time later?  No.  Do our parents ever really discuss birth with us?  No.  Even our own birth? No.  How about parenting styles?  No.  So is it any wonder we are truly clueless.

            Like any other subject, we need to study it, find out facts based on research.  If we wanted to go into business or marketing would we merely assume that we could do so without study and acquiring an understanding of the knowledge of others who had become experts?  Of course not.  Would we attempt to operate a complex machine without learning all about it?  Would we attempt to fly a plane without studying the course and flying first with a coach?

             But when it comes to what are without question the most central and most important areas in life, we just kind of stumble on thinking it’s natural and everyone does it so….. What’s to study?  They don’t teach it in school.  Not even in college.  Unless you want to be a nurse.  And, besides, there are nurses who take care of birth, and doctors.  What need is there for me to study this.

            It saddens me how many women who come to therapy in my office when asked anything about their forthcoming birth answer with, “I’ll have to ask my doctor, I don’t know.”  That is too prevalent in our culture today.  This is a new generation of women who are more ignorant about the normal functioning of womanhood than their great grandmothers.  How this has happened is a story in itself.  The truth is that it has happened very gradually and is continuing to happen as we speak.

            The truth further is that this is not secret knowledge.  But it is part of the ‘private knowledge’ that is shrouded in the jargon of medical description and is therefore a closed book for the ordinary person.  But the more significant fact is that most people are conditioned that ‘we don’t need to know about this, at least not now.’

            But again, the truth is that it is imperative that we know about this knowledge, and now, before we marry and are pregnant.  Why?  Because the new body of knowledge amassed in the last two decades, clearly shows how influenced are our lives from issues occurring at and before birth.  The new science of perinatal psychology with its vast research and writings give us a very clear understanding of the consequences, resultant damages and the possibilities for developmental optimization through the application of this scientific knowledge.

            My wife and I have written ‘The Art of Conscious Parenting’ to gather and present, in easily readable style, the facts of life in birth and parenting.  Asked, ‘What did you wish to do with this book?’  And for whom is it written?   We have answered: -

To raise awareness of the new facts, choices and options within the field of Birth and Parenting, both the benefits and the dangers, for the children born, and to family life in this generation of parents.

740 words you need to know.

The Hidden Dangers in Baby Products

Almost from the moment that many babies are born, their mothers lovingly wash and pamper their infants with a wide range of baby products. These products might include soaps, lotions, shampoos, and baby powders and they might be used several times a day.
But have you ever taken the time to read the ingredients listing for a bottle of baby lotion or shampoo? How would you feel if you found out that the products you have been using on your sweet baby are actually a witch’s brew of dangerous ingredients? Most parents would be very unhappy. They might feel as though they had been duped, and rightly so. Many parents put faith in the companies behind conventional baby products because it never enters their minds that products made specifically for babies could be harmful. Unfortunately, there are many baby products available today that have questionable ingredients. Some of these ingredients include synthetic perfumes, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Talc, and Parabens.
But what are they and why are they bad?
Parabens are actually preservatives that have estrogenic qualities. They have produced abnormal hormonal effects following application on laboratory rodents, particularly male, resulting in decreased testosterone levels and other abnormalities. They have also been found to accumulate in the breast tissue of women with breast cancer.
Sodium Lauryl Sulfate or SLS for short is an ingredient that gives a product like a shampoo or liquid soap its foaming ability. It is a known skin irritant and in fact when testing new a healing ointment or crème, SLS is the irritant they first rub on the skin to test the healing properties of their new product. SLS can penetrate and be retained in the eyes, brain, heart, and liver with potentially harmful effects according to the journal of the American College of Toxicology. In a baby product, SLS might cause rashes, eczema or other skin irritations. It is shocking that baby products contain such a harsh ingredient. To add further insult, products containing this ingredient are sometimes labeled as “natural” or organic because SLS is a detergent derived from coconut oil.
Synthetic perfumes or fragrances can contain hundreds of chemicals. Some, such as methylene chloride are carcinogenic and others might cause headaches, dizziness, coughing, vomiting and skin irritation.
Talc is white-gray mineral powder used as a baby powder. Moms might use it to keep their baby’s skin smooth and dry but unfortunately term long-term use can produce the same effects as those of asbestos. Use only pure corn starch available in health stores. Beware of the commercial brands of corn starch as they contain harmful chemicals.
These ingredients hardly sound appropriate for tender baby skin. So what can you do to avoid these dangerous baby products? First, read the ingredients and look them up online if you have to. Find out what they are and what they do. Second, find reputable companies that offer organic and 100% natural products. Since there is no regulation for organic bath and body products you might need to do some research to find the legitimately natural products. Third, try your hand at making some of your own baby products. If you make your own then you know exactly what is in them and you can feel comfortable that they are safe. And, it is a calming way to experience caring for your precious little bundle.
In the story of “The Little Prince” the prince does not initially want to take care of the rose. But the rose pleads with him and he agrees to not abandon her and to take care of her. As he cares for her he grows closer and closer to her, until he grows to love her. Of course, the point of the story is that through taking care of someone we grow closer and deeper in love. Just as mothers put love in the food they prepare (even if it comes semi-ready) you can put “love” in your baby’s skin care. Touch is one of the main ways infants get their needs met and studies show that touch-deficit results in later difficulties. Make that touch clean, green and serene.